[ Managing to be an enabling part of a shared braincell is something Allen is weirdly good at despite being how savvy he otherwise is. Call them mile wide blind spots when it comes to some things. And there is nothing wrong with asking or Allen's reaction!!! It's just!!! ...stop looking at him, he's fine!! He's just... happy!! It's normal!! Also Shouto saying he's an expert on something like that is slightly concerning... and it's okay, he wouldn't want a western one anyway. It'd feel weirdly tasteless, and honestly he's slept on the actual ground more times in his life than not, probably... the elevation difference doesn't bother him and he actually really enjoyed Shouto's futon and slept better than he normally does. The tatami smelled nice too. goddamnit you're letting him haggle though
But "I considered you a lethal fighter too..." That would hurt a lot, normally. Picking at that doubt and pain that comes from I wish you had trusted me more. But it frames that in a way that makes more sense too, and as Allen's expression flickers and softens at that he rather wishes, yet again, this was a conversation in person. It feels wrong, not being able to reach out. ]
...Exorcists weren't expected to just fight creatures like Akuma. But I wasn't able to kill someone even when I probably should have and he didn't want to give me much choice. Or when I was ordered to. I wanted to save them instead. [ He smiles gently; sad-sweet, but with a genuine warmth and gentleness. With gratitude and understanding. You have a good heart too, and he's sorry you had to carry that as long as you did. ]
No one liked that very much. [ It sounds like it technically should be wry, but he says it with that same painfully gentle smile. ]
It's easy for people to call someone a monster because they are afraid of them or don't understand them, because it makes it easier for them to not care as much or helps justify their actions in their mind, but it doesn't change the fact they're still human. They still feel the same that we do, still hurt and still have things that are precious to them. [ He would have thought the same of Dabi and done the same even if he knew everything he'd ever done. While Allen would technically entertain a mercy killing, if there was truly no way to save the life of someone who had become a Beast and whose soul was actively suffering, if everything was exhausted and there was no way to give them relief... it would break him, but he would understand it in those situations. That is also what the curse of his eye means, seeing the acute suffering of the soul that others don't, and ultimately he believes in stopping cycles of suffering. Beings who are Beasts too long eventually lose their original form and can no longer have their Beasthood reverted anyway. But he also loathes a decision like that with every fiber of his being and would want to find a way first to not have to make that choice.
Thankfully, he hasn't had to make that one yet. ]
It's why I hate that. The idea of a war based on sacrifice. [ In his past life or in this world now, a war on corruption and Beasthood where the commonly understood way is to sacrifice those lives they've already written off as "lost". But his smile softens then, taking in Shouto's projected appearance and determined look before he brings a hand up, fingers gracefully reaching out but stopping just short of touching the image. Something that on the Omni would look like raising his fingers to press lightly against the glass. ]
Thank you for telling me. [ And believing in him now. ]
no subject
goddamnit you're letting him haggle thoughBut "I considered you a lethal fighter too..." That would hurt a lot, normally. Picking at that doubt and pain that comes from I wish you had trusted me more. But it frames that in a way that makes more sense too, and as Allen's expression flickers and softens at that he rather wishes, yet again, this was a conversation in person. It feels wrong, not being able to reach out. ]
...Exorcists weren't expected to just fight creatures like Akuma. But I wasn't able to kill someone even when I probably should have and he didn't want to give me much choice. Or when I was ordered to. I wanted to save them instead. [ He smiles gently; sad-sweet, but with a genuine warmth and gentleness. With gratitude and understanding. You have a good heart too, and he's sorry you had to carry that as long as you did. ]
No one liked that very much. [ It sounds like it technically should be wry, but he says it with that same painfully gentle smile. ]
It's easy for people to call someone a monster because they are afraid of them or don't understand them, because it makes it easier for them to not care as much or helps justify their actions in their mind, but it doesn't change the fact they're still human. They still feel the same that we do, still hurt and still have things that are precious to them. [ He would have thought the same of Dabi and done the same even if he knew everything he'd ever done. While Allen would technically entertain a mercy killing, if there was truly no way to save the life of someone who had become a Beast and whose soul was actively suffering, if everything was exhausted and there was no way to give them relief... it would break him, but he would understand it in those situations. That is also what the curse of his eye means, seeing the acute suffering of the soul that others don't, and ultimately he believes in stopping cycles of suffering. Beings who are Beasts too long eventually lose their original form and can no longer have their Beasthood reverted anyway. But he also loathes a decision like that with every fiber of his being and would want to find a way first to not have to make that choice.
Thankfully, he hasn't had to make that one yet. ]
It's why I hate that. The idea of a war based on sacrifice. [ In his past life or in this world now, a war on corruption and Beasthood where the commonly understood way is to sacrifice those lives they've already written off as "lost". But his smile softens then, taking in Shouto's projected appearance and determined look before he brings a hand up, fingers gracefully reaching out but stopping just short of touching the image. Something that on the Omni would look like raising his fingers to press lightly against the glass. ]
Thank you for telling me. [ And believing in him now. ]