likethelight | IC Contact @ Deer Country

Meditation? [ He pulls back to cock his head slightly to the side at that, something thoughtful clicking in his expression, before he lets his hand go. ]

Like trying to get in better sync with yourself?

[ He pulls back too, nodding in turn at the question. ]

It helps you know yourself. I can't replicate... [ he looks at him, skin gaining a bit of color ] so I meditate.

[ ...? Is that... ... is he a blushing? Just a bit?

... that is so incredibly charming somehow, and Allen blinks for a moment before smiling wide. He could be a little cheeky, but he won't and just holds the knowledge as something very dear in his heart. He gives a small nod, eyes warm. ]

An exorcist measures their strength by a synchronization percentage they have with their Innocence... something that only gets stronger when we understand better what are own desires are and it acknowledges that. If it's too low it won't listen to us and can backfire.

[ He's explained something similar before. His quirk, Innocence, is still a little odd to him, mainly because of that 'it' that seems to judge him. More and more it reminds him of Tokoyami and the relationship he has with Dark Shadow except Dark Shadow isn't supposed to be in control. ]

Is it ever wrong? Knowing what you want?

[ That has Allen tip his head to the side slightly, a little surprised by the question. Wondering the reason for the ask. But he smiles gently too. ]

Not "wrong" so much as... maybe sometimes we don't agree on the same course of action. But that isn't really normal.

If you want to fight with it, it forces you to be honest with yourself about why that is. What you want and what motivates you. It's not trying to tell you what that is, just make you face it. The power it magnifies and takes shape with is that of your heart, so it only makes sense you have to understand that first.

[ And then will decide if you're a worthy partner or not is left unsaid. But he reaches to squeeze Shouto's hand gently. ]

That's something that everyone has to struggle with at one point or another.

What power does it magnify in you?

[ That... isn't a question he's been asked before exactly, or had to consider so precisely, and he blinks. Considers it and the turn the conversation took as he steps back to lean a little against the counter, tugging Shouto lightly by the hand to follow. ]

I wanted to save akuma and humans both. What are Beasts and people here—

That's why my sword takes the shape it does.

[ Swayed by the faint tug of his hand, Shoto follows, stepping forward and catching sight of the book he'd laid there at the start. ]

A blunt sword.

[ He murmurs, following his line of thinking, only Shouto doesn't come from a world where swords are commonplace, so he asks what he's always wondered. ]

Why a sword?

[ Give him a moment and he'll remember they were supposed to have been baking cookies this entire time. The conversation just seems more important at the moment with how Shouto is asking about it. ]

A sword that only cuts the evil in something. [ It's a gentle amendment. But he chuckles a little sheepishly then, scratching at his cheek. ]

And I'm not sure... it seems a little silly sometimes when I was never a particularly good swordsman.

[ Evil... somehow that doesn't sound right to him. ]

It's not evil that you cut.

What you cut is its opposite.

?

[ Allen would be the first to admit he wonders about what his sword deems "evil", certainly, and has his own misgivings, but... ]

Corruption isn't exactly "good"...

It's not evil either.

[ Corruption itself kind of is in Allen's eyes, given what it is in his world, at least in the sense it's anti-good and there isn't anything redeeming about it in and of itself. And it isn't a person. But the point is also moot, and he gives a small helpless shrug with a wan and somewhat conflicted smile that's hard to read. ]

It is to the Innocence. [ It's not his decision how or why it cuts what it does, just his decision in how to wield it against what and for what he believes are the right reasons. For as long as it is something he can continue to use to do what good he can.

He leans forward to kiss his cheek very delicately, a gossamer touch. ]

We should start baking or we'll be very hungry.

[ Corruption, to him, feels like a natural disaster. There's no evil behind it. You guard against it to reduce the damage and when it strikes it's not a targeted attack. It is what it is.

The Innocence. Not an inanimate object, but a conscious being with a mind of its own. Shouto doesn't know what to think of it or the pact Allen made with it.

He looks up, no longer swayed by the affectionate gesture with those thoughts running through his head. He nods anyway, picking up the book behind him, and gets to work, a little distant, reflecting on the conversation as the day progresses. ]

[ The sad truth of it is it was a never even a pact he originally made or had any choice it. It was simply the way he was born. Two entities in one.

Or... three.

Allen's perceptive enough to notice he seems more in his own head and distant and connect it as likely because of the conversation, given how much Shouto had been asking about it. It hits him with a bit of a sad pang, but he shakes it off and doesn't say anything about it. Instead he just leans over with a quietly cheery air ask what he's doing from time to time as he works on the cookies, perfectly content to bear most of the effort of being conversational and steer them back towards holiday things as he makes a breakfast-lunch of noodles and, yes, dango because Viktor showed him how back after tanabata. Mitarashi so it's a very simple affair even he can manage just fine by now, but it's his favorite and he will absolutely insist if there's any day for them to have lots of their favorites it's Christmas. And he certainly makes a giant plateful like some people stack pancakes and intends it as an actual meal. But fine, there's fruit too. And he talks rather merrily about making fish for an actual dinner later, clearly in high spirits about everything food. Tim also eventually drifts back in sometime during this too, after having played with Kizu and likely napping a bit, bearing a hairtie in mouth for Allen who accepts it as a normal and expected thing and ties his hair up for the day. He chooses to sit on Shouto's shoulder after that, plump and with a surprisingly solid weight, and watches his every move as he works on making the cookies quite intently. He waggles his wings from time to time in encouragement.

Allen swipes tastes from time to time and Shouto might come to notice how he begins to hover hopefully when he wants to, opposite of Tim. Maybe partially to try and ward off a taste disaster, but more because that's his favorite thing to do when friends and loved ones bake. Although if he notices him do something particularly egregious like trying to crack eggs shells and all into the mix... he's going to swoop in rather hastily with some barely-concealed panic and nervous laughter to try and show him how to not end up with eggshell cookies. Although that's kind of the extent of his own knowledge. Don't ask him what sifting flour is either, he'll look over the recipe book with a pinched look of confusion as he tries to puzzle it out too.

Also he's going to very seriously tell him he needs to wear an apron too and will half get him in it himself if given half the chance. Very earnestly!!! Absolutely serious! You're not a proper chef unless you're wearing one!!

And if there is a taste disaster, he'll pull a bit of a face before very kindly pointing out that maybe they should add more of... something else. Probably sugar. And since Shouto will probably get them in to bake before Allen finishes, this time he asks him if he'd help him get everything else ready too and will point him towards anything else that still needs to be cut or chopped. That he will look over and watch!! With a surprisingly sly and perceptive eye!! And direct with gentle admonishments if he needs to do it more finely. As well as asking if he could heat up and cool things down quicker than they would on their own.

And even if there are disasters, his mood has recovered quickly and fully enough to just laugh at it like even that is something he truly enjoys. The whole experience and togetherness of it. ]

Edited 2023-03-11 20:22 (UTC)

[ It turns out the reason the book was so expensive, still unreasonable but not without its merits, was due to the level of detail that sprawled down the pages explaining techniques for each recipe. Shouto spends half an hour skimming through recipes, searching for one that doesn't scrawl over four pages. He earmarks a few two-pagers, flipping to the end before backtracking and weighing his options. Fixated on his mini project, thoughts of Innocence and its implications ebb into the background while he starts searching for ingredients and equipment looking crestfallen when he falls short three times. By the time he's on his sixth iteration of fruitlessly scavenging through the cupboards and fridge, he's a little surprised to find every item called for and quickly gets to work.

A pan hits the stove and in goes some form of cream and salt. He sets the flame to low as called for and lets the mixture warm up before setting it aside. He works efficiently, going back to read the recipe book, spread open on the kitchen counter next to the stove, every few minutes. It's a two-pager with 'Vanilla Crème Brûlée' neatly written on top.

He can hear Allen talking in the background, and nods every now and then when he's not trying to figure out what he's supposed to do next. Surprisingly, the more text on the page means, the less he can free-hand and do what he wants. The fact that the book is so detailed means he's boxed in with absolutely no lines like 'salt to taste' otherwise he'd put in way too much or too little. No, he's given an exact amount of salt to add and follows every step to the letter until he has the cream in 'wide, shallow ramekins'. He can't even free-style what he puts it in which is a very good thing otherwise, he would have opted to put it all in one bread pan.

There are indeed a lot of eggs to crack and there's less instruction here which means Shouto smashes one when he hits it too hard on a 'hard surface'. He cleans up the mess and tries again. This time, the cracking is better, but the pulling apart, not so much. He ends pulling the two halves apart with way too much force and the egg goes SPLAT! on the wall breaking the yolk as it slides down the wall. That too gets cleaned up. Looking very serious on his third attempt, he ends up cracking the egg and very carefully pulling it apart. Success! Now... how to seperate the yolk. He pours the egg in his palm and slowly opens his fingers letting the whites slowly fall into the sink like some kind of slime. He ends up breaking a few yolks still but at least they're separated from the whites! When he's done he washes the mess in the sink and his hands, including down his arm where the egg whites slid all the way to his elbow. By the time he's done separating the five yolks, his apron, courtesy of Allen's instance, is an eggy mess with random egg shell attached to parts of it. Thank god there's no flour in this recipe!

Allen may notice a few eggshells in the yolks and save himself from taking a spoonful of custard and hitting eggshells by removing them while Shouto is busy cleaning himself up in the kitchen sink. If he sees Allen trying to take a taste of the cooling cream in the pan, he'll be reprimanded. When he returns, sort of clean, he gets started on the second half of the recipe and is soon filling ramekins to the indicated height, yes it even tells him how much he should fill it. Ramekins filled, he sets them on a baking tray and starts pouring water inside the tray when Tim decides to land on his shoulder which has him go ramrod stiff. ]

Edited 2023-03-11 22:21 (UTC)

[ His eyes widen in subtle panic, and he goes so very still, breath caught in his throat. He doesn't move. Doesn't breathe, doesn't look at Tim whose weight lies heavy on his shoulder. Very, very carefully, he turns to Allen giving him a questioning look, afraid to look at Tim for fear of having him look back at him and ... and... He gulps, exhaling slowly, and tries to continue, pretending as if he isn't perched on his shoulder inches away from his face. Stiffly, he picks up the cooking tray where he laid out his ramekins filled with water and makes the short trek to the oven looking like he's weighed down with 50 kilos.

He opens the hot oven, using his bare hands to pull out a piping hot metal rack without even noticing the temperature, and starts setting the baking tray on the rack when Tim moves on his shoulder adjusting his position while he has his arm stretched inside the oven and water spills over the sides of the tray, creating a mist of steam that hits him straight in the face. Some of the water spills into two of the ramekins and Shouto stiffens in place, gripping the pan with enough force to make his fingers go white until Tim stops moving. Then stays so very very still a few seconds after setting the tray down with trembling muscles. Silent as a lamb, he once again grips the heated metal and pushes it inside slowly, before closing the oven door and standing back to his full height.

Back, ramrod straight, he makes no sound. Turns neither to Allen nor Tim, promptly ignoring both in favor of staring at the oven clock to wait for the timer. He doesn't even go to the recipe book to double-check the temperature and time, remaining utterly still, standing in front of the oven until the timer goes off.

Right off the bat, two of the puddings that got water spilled on them look off. The surface is pebbled and the inside is soggy. Shouto doesn't even look disappointed. Still too preoccupied with the extra weight on his shoulder. He still hasn't turned around to look at Tim or Allen and stiffly picks up the tray with bare hands. This time he's prepared for the positional adjustment that occurs at his shoulder and only stiffens lightly before standing back up and setting the tray over the oven, removing the ramekins to cool off to the side before wordlessly putting them in the refrigerator. ]

Edited 2023-03-11 22:31 (UTC)

[ Somewhere between Allen getting his own ingredients and pans out Shouto has somehow ended up with... making custards instead of cookies? A crème brûlée at that? He's little baffled when he looks over and asks what recipe he went with, and on one hand... isn't that rather advanced? he wants to ask. But it's Christmas and you know, what's the worst that could happen, so he doesn't. All desserts are welcome in Allen's book anyway. Who cares if it's not really traditional.

He absolutely sneaks out those few eggshells when Shouto's back is turned though. And looks quite crestfallen when he's reprimanded for trying to sneak a taste. He's careful, he wasn't going to burn his mouth.... much, probably. What little bit he does manage to sneak has him blinking with surprise though. It's... actually kind of good? Mostly like how it's supposed to taste?

Tim choosing to alight on not Allen's shoulder but his has Allen briefly pause a little too, going very still too and blinking like an unseen finger just ran along his spine. He shakes it off quickly though, laughing a touch sheepishly when Shouto looks helplessly at him and shrugging a little with a "He does that with people he likes." Shouto was already quiet before that and a little disconnected, so he doesn't think too much of his tight and rigid demeanor even if it does make mental flags go off. Maybe he's just very focused on baking after all, he can be quite serious like that. It makes Allen try to compensate by filling the silence with gentle conversational observations, hoping to maybe set Shouto a little more at ease when he seems so stiff, as he continues with the very monotonous process of dropping the little rice flour dumplings into his pot of boiling water... waiting... fishing them out... repeating the process over and over as yes, he is making that much dango. The noodles are sitting to the side and just waiting to be cooked at the last minute.

When he pulls the tray out and still looks so uncomfortably stiff, Allen stops and looks back at him. At Tim still sitting squatly on his shoulder and swishing his tail back and forth a little. A skewer of dumplings freshly pan-seared (a little charred) he'd been about to add to a pile of the same held aloft as suddenly, finally, something clicks. ]

Shouto—

[ He tips his head thoughtfully. No judgment here, just faintly surprised curiosity. ]

...is Tim making you nervous?

[ Tim leans in real close to peer curiously at him too. ]

Edited 2023-03-12 00:12 (UTC)

[ Allen's conversational observations do absolutely nothing to set him at ease. He remains stiff, his demeanor cut in stone. When Tim peers closer to him, his neck automatically veers away, his cheek practically pressing against his other shoulder. Still, resolutely not looking at him.

Tight-lipped. Feeling like his heart has gone wild in his chest, Shouto doesn't answer for a long time. Face still turned away from the round little bauble on his shoulder making him sweat. ]

... Yes.

[ He finally answers. Stiff as a board with no idea how to handle the situation other than remaining very, very still. ]

[ Timcanpy is so broken-hearted, Shouto. Comically wobbly little tears might well in his not-eyes when he leans so violently away from him. He just wanted to love you!!!

Allen, staring for a moment at first because oh my god you really are nervous because of him, wipes his hands off on his apron and steps forward with a sheepish expression. ]

You aren't going to hurt him, you know. [ Is that it?? Or some other reason? ] He always likes riding around with or sleeping on people he likes.

[ Allen reaches out towards Tim though, an obvious offer to scoop him up as he cocks his head to the side with an awkwardly apologetic kind of smile to Shouto. Tim, of course, isn't looking at Allen at all and is instead trying to crane his whole body around to look up pleading at Shouto. A little hand pats at his collar as he does so. _{Look at hiiimmm!!} ]

I can take him back if you want.

Edited 2023-03-12 02:37 (UTC)

[ His words barely penetrate through his skull as that tiny little hand pat-pat-pats on his collar. Shouto flinches with every tap forgetting to breath. He can almost feel those individual fingers through the very thin material of his shirt, and resolutely does not look at Tim for fear of brushing up against him accidentally. ]

I. [ Stiffly. ] Don't mind.

Ah?

[ You look so uncomfortable though. ]

If you're sure? [ He pauses, watching as Tim continues to try and get his attention with gentler little pat-pats. _{Look look, look it's okay.} ]

It's okay to look at him. He likes the attention.

[ He nods stiffly, still not looking at Tim. Holding himself far away from that hand as possible. ]

He's too close.

[ Ehehe... Allen scratches lightly at his cheek at that response. One side of his mouth twitching up to the side. ]

Why is that?

[ Tim is undeterred. Reaching..!!! Teetering out precariously to try and reach his chin...!! But his arms are too stubby and tiny... ]

[ Shouto very conspicuous jerks his chin away from that stubbly hand. ]

I might touch him.

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1/2

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i'm WHEEZING

This is what makes him sweat....

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