likethelight | IC Contact @ Deer Country

[ Gentle-hearted.

Even if he never sees himself that way, Allen will.

Feeling his hands slip into his hair surprises Allen a little as he realizes he likes that, taking it as invitation as well to let his right hand wrap around his waist, pressing them together too and letting his head cant slightly to make it easier to kiss more deeply. His left hand splays lightly against his chest where it's trapped, fanning out in a gently mindful arc.

He also knows to expect it this time so he just exhales a shivery sort of breath when Shouto starts to move downward again, letting his head tip to the side to let him do so more easily, and just slips his left hand out to let it sift into the short hairs at the back of his neck. Stroking there encouragingly as he just holds onto him gently.

He knows what to expect, but somehow there are more butterflies in Allen's stomach this time because of that. It's a little distracting, that and Shouto's mouth on his neck, and his thoughts are a little disconnected as he tries to pull them together. ]

It feels good, you know? [ His voice is soft and he exhales a little shakily, and he leans his head against Shouto's as soon as he's low enough that he can, rubbing his cheek against his hair lovingly. ]

Kissing like this.

[ It's too easy to lose himself to impulse when those tender fingers stroke through his hair reassuringly. When he's held so gently. When Allen tips his head back to give him room to explore. He doesn't need an explanation for this, understanding its meaning on a fundamental level without words.

It feels good, you know?

The tone. The warmth. The way he's holding him. It's enough to make him take pause. His eyes glide up, slow and deliberate, settling on him. Seeing something there for the first time. ]

Good, how?

[ ?

At first he's afraid he's managed to say something wrong when he just meant to affirm for him it wasn't a bad thing at all, and meets Shouto's gaze a little uncertainly. He blinks at the question though, knocked a little offguard by it. Good how...?

He flushes lightly, and tries not to fidget. Very aware suddenly and feeling a little exposed. Why do you have to ask that!! ]

It just... is?

[ he's bad at this ]

[ There's no intuitive understanding here. Not with a pair of words that end more in question than answer. ]

I like kissing you. It feels like I'm closer to you.

[ He answers in turn without a hint of embarrassment. ]

[ Oh--

His expression softens at that and becomes a little stunned actually, affected, as Shouto managed to hit the reason why Allen enjoys these moments spot on. Enjoys kissing and being kissed, holding each other and even the smallest touch. What makes it actually very easy to melt away years of being extremely repressed and opposed to the idea of any kind of physical intimacy with another more than holding hands or an embrace, and the damage and anxiety he has surrounding it.

Feeling closer together, and able to say "I care for you" while feeling cared for.

He wraps his arms around him, hugging onto him in a sudden swell of affection and gratitude. Breathes out against his ear as he nuzzles into his hair. ]

I feel closer to you too.

I always like feeling closer to you.

Edited 2023-03-05 07:18 (UTC)

[ That certainty earns a smile that softens his features. He understands that answer. How could he not? He wraps his arms around him, returning the gentle caress with kiss to his jaw and cheek. ]

Me too.

[ Smiles are infectious as his own mouth slowly curves into one, something about the moment touching on a part of his heart that was craving it. And when first one and then the other kisses are pressed to his jaw and cheek they dislodge it as he laughs gently at the affectionate cascade. A so truly lighthearted bubble of one that escapes him, and he brings a hand up to brush some of the hair from Shouto's face fondly. Follows it up immediately by kissing his cheek in a surge of high spirits, and then with another along his jaw too. ]

Lean your head back a little.

[ Maybe because laughter was so rare in the Todoroki estate that Shouto finds himself captivated by it every time. Maybe it's the only way he knows Allen is happy. Or maybe, he just likes to hear him laugh. Either way, his smile brightens, stretched wide in a genial manner when his kisses are returned.

He leans back, looking at him with love and affection, waiting patiently in place. ]

[ Allen also laughs more with him than he can ever recall at any other point in his life. Not that he particularly didn't before, moments of sharing small laughter have always been treasured ones to him, but it was more that they were so rare that he appreciated them so tremendously. Being so happy so much now that it comes so easily to him, having a connection where he feels like laughing so much--

He smiles wider at Shouto's expression, not laughing again aloud but his pale eyes sparkling silently with it, and he detours for a moment to press a sweet, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth where that smile curves. He reaches for his hand to squeeze and lace their fingers together too.

I'll always love it when you smile like that.

Chin, jaw, just under the ear-- he trails soft and fairylike kisses as he goes, as lighthearted as his mood. An affectionate rain of them that slows when he follows not the line of his neck, but dips to kiss his throat. Lingering there to kiss him like he wants to convey something so sweet and earnest, all the affection that he feels, before beginning to trail a line of them down towards his collar. ]

Edited 2023-03-05 08:22 (UTC)

[ The hand that he clasps is warm, large, and calloused. The raised skin of thin scars rubs against the delicate curve of his palm. Shouto locks their hands together with enough strength to convey his presence. Not a bystander but an active participant giving way to him.

A growing awareness slowly overtakes him. Good. It feels good. And something more. It scuttles his breathing, shaking the steady foundation when those lips bide their time at his throat. He opens his mouth to suck in a breath; growing warm, growing cold.

The tension breaks when those lips trail down his collar and his hand suddenly squeezes Allen's with force; a puff of mist escaping his mouth. ]

Edited 2023-03-05 16:50 (UTC)

[ It will always be a touch ironic that while Shouto's hands are calloused, Allen's are not and smooth when he's the one who is a close combat melee fighter. But one hand cannot be calloused and the other he always wears gloves in those situations. He isn't wearing any now of course, and feels the thin scarring pressed into his palm; something that registers with a faint pang as it always does, and is perhaps part of the reason why he slows and takes his time to press his lips to his throat in such a meaningful way.

He blinks at the reaction, equal parts fascinated and amazed that he can feel the breath he takes and the quick flux in temperature. But the strong grip on his hand has him glancing up before he can really continue or capitalize on it, catching the trail of mist, and he stills lightly. ]

Are you alright? [ He asks it softly, not pulling back or seeming alarmed. Just watching Shouto in a quietly awe-touched way, and squeezing his hand gently in response. ]

Edited 2023-03-05 17:18 (UTC)

[ He exhales slowly, letting the tension drain from him at a natural pace. His breath comes out misty, equal parts warm and cold like the rest of him. Not unnaturally so, but enough to sense a difference. ]

I think... I might need some more training.

[ Oh-- Allen does pull back and straightens then. Hot and cold at the same time-- it was like when they first kissed then and he lost control...?

He leans quickly in to kiss his cheek very gently, lingering there in a soothing manner. It's alright. ]

Training?

Edited 2023-03-05 18:05 (UTC)

[ It's nothing like when they first kissed, not enough heat to boil water or freeze it, but enough to make him aware he was reacting instead of commanding. It happened to him sometimes during a fight. Instincts flared and he'd shoot a blast of arctic chill at his opponents in reflex. He always reached for his right when cornered, but he didn't feel cornered right now. Out of sorts, maybe.

He lets himself indulge in the sensation of his lips on his skin again. It's comforting, different from what he felt before. ]

Sometimes, my quirk reacts to what I'm feeling.

Training helps me control it better.

[ Regular training? Allen would have guessed what helped him before was getting used to the new feelings and acting on them more than anything. Something that took time, acceptance, and acclimation. But whatever he had done before clearly worked, and that's what matters. While there are a few similarities, their abilities are also fundamentally different. ]

I can help train with you. [ He offers, bringing their joined hands up so he can brush his lips against his knuckles like someone making a sweet kind of promise. Before unwinding their hands and turning his around to bring Shouto's up to his face so he can kiss his scarred palm warmly and directly. Lingering there with promise too as his eyes flutter calmly shut. ]

If that would help.

Edited 2023-03-05 18:56 (UTC)

[ No... not regular training. He couldn't call it training in the proper sense of the word, but with no idea what else to call it, he sticks with it. It's the first time he really spoke about it aloud. ]

It's...

[ He reaches for the closest word in his vocabulary. ]

Meditation.

Meditation? [ He pulls back to cock his head slightly to the side at that, something thoughtful clicking in his expression, before he lets his hand go. ]

Like trying to get in better sync with yourself?

[ He pulls back too, nodding in turn at the question. ]

It helps you know yourself. I can't replicate... [ he looks at him, skin gaining a bit of color ] so I meditate.

[ ...? Is that... ... is he a blushing? Just a bit?

... that is so incredibly charming somehow, and Allen blinks for a moment before smiling wide. He could be a little cheeky, but he won't and just holds the knowledge as something very dear in his heart. He gives a small nod, eyes warm. ]

An exorcist measures their strength by a synchronization percentage they have with their Innocence... something that only gets stronger when we understand better what are own desires are and it acknowledges that. If it's too low it won't listen to us and can backfire.

[ He's explained something similar before. His quirk, Innocence, is still a little odd to him, mainly because of that 'it' that seems to judge him. More and more it reminds him of Tokoyami and the relationship he has with Dark Shadow except Dark Shadow isn't supposed to be in control. ]

Is it ever wrong? Knowing what you want?

[ That has Allen tip his head to the side slightly, a little surprised by the question. Wondering the reason for the ask. But he smiles gently too. ]

Not "wrong" so much as... maybe sometimes we don't agree on the same course of action. But that isn't really normal.

If you want to fight with it, it forces you to be honest with yourself about why that is. What you want and what motivates you. It's not trying to tell you what that is, just make you face it. The power it magnifies and takes shape with is that of your heart, so it only makes sense you have to understand that first.

[ And then will decide if you're a worthy partner or not is left unsaid. But he reaches to squeeze Shouto's hand gently. ]

That's something that everyone has to struggle with at one point or another.

What power does it magnify in you?

[ That... isn't a question he's been asked before exactly, or had to consider so precisely, and he blinks. Considers it and the turn the conversation took as he steps back to lean a little against the counter, tugging Shouto lightly by the hand to follow. ]

I wanted to save akuma and humans both. What are Beasts and people here—

That's why my sword takes the shape it does.

[ Swayed by the faint tug of his hand, Shoto follows, stepping forward and catching sight of the book he'd laid there at the start. ]

A blunt sword.

[ He murmurs, following his line of thinking, only Shouto doesn't come from a world where swords are commonplace, so he asks what he's always wondered. ]

Why a sword?

[ Give him a moment and he'll remember they were supposed to have been baking cookies this entire time. The conversation just seems more important at the moment with how Shouto is asking about it. ]

A sword that only cuts the evil in something. [ It's a gentle amendment. But he chuckles a little sheepishly then, scratching at his cheek. ]

And I'm not sure... it seems a little silly sometimes when I was never a particularly good swordsman.

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