likethelight | IC Contact @ Deer Country

[ Heh—

There's a small and lighthearted laugh from Allen in response to that, to how his arm slips around him, and he follows it as invitation to press close with a carefree sort of merriness. Bringing both hands up, one resting along his arm and the other threading through Shouto's hair as he bends to kiss his neck.

His breath catches lightly at that, it always does, before he covers it up with a shivery kind of laugh and presses his cheek in response to Shouto's. Runs a hand through his hair lovingly. ]

Should we see what they broke?

Edited 2023-03-04 03:57 (UTC)

No. It doesn't matter.

[ He takes up his palm, lifting it up to press a kiss to the cross etched over the carapace armor. Distracted by the breathy laugh, he looks up from his hand, grey and teal steady on him. ]

Can I kiss you?

[ Normally it would matter a lot to Allen! But it also became entirely unimportant the moment he realized who and what Shouto was asking. Likely he'll forget about it entirely until they go into the living room later and he sees whatever they broke...

But his expression flickers when Shouto lifts up his left hand to kiss the bluish-white crystal embedded into the back of it, a complex series of emotions that soften his features into something gentle and unguarded, and he shivers again faintly. Touched. It doesn't matter if it's the first or the hundredth time, gestures like that always hit him especially hard in a very quiet way.

They're meaningful. And he smiles softly at the question, eyes hooding in a warm look. He touches the side of Shouto's cheek lightly. ]

You can always kiss me.

Edited 2023-03-04 04:34 (UTC)

[ Even so, he'll always ask out of a sense of responsibility. He takes a step back to set the book down on the counter, turning to face him with a quiet look about him, and brushes his hair back behind his ear. ]

It grew longer.

[ He notes more to himself than Allen as he trails a thumb down his jaw, catching his gaze. In the bedroom another series of crashes rock the foundation, and Shouto ignores them in favor of kissing him soundly. ]

[ Something about the way he just looks quietly at him like that and remarks on his hair, long and loose still...

Allen's eyes soften, not quite understanding even as it feels like a part of him instinctively does, and steps closer. Leans his cheek against his hand as he brushes a strand back. ]

You're taller. [ They both are, but they're in a period where Allen has to catch back up again. He'd normally wrinkle his nose about it and huff a bit, but right now he only has a feeling of serenity about it. It's time passing.

This time when there's a crash (but not the sound of anything breaking at least!) he doesn't fret and instead laughs, understanding more what it means, and pulls Shouto close even as he bends to kiss him, lips still curved into a joyous smile when they meet. He leans forward into it, to let himself be soundly kissed and give himself back just as soundly, and pour all of the feeling that's filled his chest to overflowing into it.

Happiness. Usually so rare and fleeting.

Sweetly and in absolutely no hurry, his hands settling lightly at Shouto's hips to encourage him to stay. ]

Edited 2023-03-04 05:14 (UTC)

[ Taller and a little more aware of the world. Aware of himself. What he likes. What he wants.

The kiss is filled with none of the high intensity of their first, yet it feels just as vivid in a wholly intimate manner. No ice forms, no blistering heat. Only the warmth of his mouth. A touch of lips, unhurried and intent. ]

So are you.

[ He says against his mouth. Somewhere along the way, they started meeting on the same road. Taking the same path. For now, it's enough to walk beside him. ]

[ It seems like such an obvious kind of analogy, doesn't it? You go through life as someone on a path, and meet those who walk it with you. It's how probably most people would visualize it. Certainly anyone who knows Allen, who talks literally of paths such as that often as it is something codified into his very name and the one vow he's been able to keep his whole life, would think it the same for him.

It's not. The analogy for his life is someone who goes through life on a path, yes. A trail blazed only by the footsteps you leave behind, with dark to one side and light to the other. But the people he meets are along the way. They're to either side, brilliant and important or doomed and compelling, but never on it with him. He's always alone. It's always just him and Tim -- or just him.

Everyone he meets he parts with, usually sooner than later. So feeling that, yes, someone is there at his side on it...

That might be the thing he's most amazed by and grateful for.

There's a faint chuckle at the observation, lips curving against Shouto's in a small sort of smile before he slides his mouth against his in another soft, slow kiss. Taking his time and doing it with a quiet sort of mindfulness like he had before when touching his lips in the other room, like committing every detail and feeling of intimacy to memory.

One hand skims up from his hip, trailing along his side and up his chest in an equally unhurried, inquisitive but slightly shy manner. ]

Tim's bigger too. [ Said, smiling, against his mouth too.

A little bigger. From grapefruit to small melon. ]

[ He leans forward to indulge them both, lifting Allen's chin with the pad of his thumb, meeting him halfway. As the seconds tick by, he grows warm, reflecting the burgeoning feelings with the power to leave him utterly devasted or completely euphoric, and to someone who's spent most of his life numb to the world, he'd choose this every time. It was better to feel something than nothing at all. That's where he and his brother agree.

It's worth it.

Hearing Tim's mechanical squeaking caught Kizu's attention as much as Allen's muffled laughter always catches his. He kisses his moon-kissed hair. His lids, one after the other. His nose. Mouth. Neck. Collar. Slow and indulgent. ]

He eats more than you.

[ The sweet attention to each part of him makes his throat tighten with emotion at first, always so chronically starved for affection that he has been his entire life that it hits so hard sometimes to receive it, and he tips his face to lean ever so slightly up into it when he feels Shouto kiss his eyes and nose. Like a flower following the sun. Appreciating the gentle and delicate sentiment and the lulling warmth coming off him.

He exhales quietly (a little shakily) when his mouth skims down along his jaw though. And he runs his other hand up his back to slowly trace along his spine when he kisses his neck, instinctively leaning back to give him more room. Nuzzling lightly at his ear as he does so to speak into it, voice too low and soft to really be a complaint. ]

Not that mu— [ ! ] O-oh...

[ It's a soft and breathy sound that escapes unbidden when he finds his collar, breath hitching, and he grips tighter at his clothes for a moment. Presses closer though. ]

[ The sound breaks the lull he found himself in, lost in the trail of kisses. He stills. Eyes shifting to the hand gripping him with more strength than it had a second ago, and he draws back, extracting himself gently to better look at him, unaware of the problem. ]

Is something wrong?

Edited 2023-03-04 08:38 (UTC)

[ Grips a little tighter when he pulls back. ]

No...? [ He sounds a little distracted, eyes flickering for a moment across Shouto's face before focusing finally. He hesitates then, pressing his lips together and flushing lightly in trying to figure out how to actually respond. Or how he even wants to. Oh. ]

No, it's nothing like that. [ He reaffirms with more certainty, hands loosening to not be gripping at his pajamas quite so tightly. Hesitates again, eyes flickering to Shouto's shoulder like he's too shy to look at him directly and becoming a bit fidgety. How does he explain when his own brain wants to skitter away from it but he doesn't want to make him feel discouraged--

He plays with the collar of his shirt, stalling in trying to wrestle with his own feelings on the matter more than even explaining them. ]

Could you... keep doing that?

Edited 2023-03-04 09:09 (UTC)

[ His eyes stray to the hand that tightens its grip on him casting doubt on his answer when he struggles to look at him. Should he let go? He wants to let go the longer the seconds tick by afraid he overstepped.

Then, the question. Hesitant, just like the rest of him. It leaves him staring, not quite comprehending what he's asking for. ]

Kissing you?

[ His tone holds a need to understand. A green light to proceed. ]

[ Oh-- seeing Shouto's own uncertainty and understanding it better now, Allen's expression softens and he reaches to squeeze his hand before leaning in kiss his cheek sweetly. Please don't doubt yourself.

It makes his own response come much more easily this time. ]

Yes.

Edited 2023-03-04 09:59 (UTC)

[ It's in his nature to hold on too tightly to those he loves. He once clung to someone knowing his presence caused them stress. Selfish in his desires, and not wanting to be alone, he clung to them nonetheless until they broke. That same fear holds him back still, afraid of his own impulses. Second guessing. Doubting himself at the first sign of stress. He holds back constantly, smothering his need for connection. Internalizing it. Finding other outlets like remodeling a broken-down shack into a home, taking care of a pair of koi, checking on a few stray cats.

He blinks, glancing down at the top of his head. The sweet kiss pressed to his cheek curbs any lingering doubt. A green light. That sound then, not stress, but something else. His muscles relax, no longer so tense. ]

Okay.

[ He breathes out, lingering in his hold a few seconds longer. He turns those words in his head, examining them.

Keep doing that.
Kissing him.

He holds his face between his hands, nudging him up to look at him. Confirm with his own eyes. When he finds no doubt in the stormy sea, he lets himself lean forward. He captures his mouth, tentatively at first, giving him a chance to draw back before exploring further. ]

Edited 2023-03-04 17:43 (UTC)

[ If Allen knew that, the reasons why, he'd try to find ways to encourage him more. Even so, he's picked up on and noticed it as a pattern enough to want to set aside even his own occasional nervousness to say something that will set his uncertainty at ease, and finding his own nerves eased in the process.

It's hard sometimes when Allen himself is so repressed and easily startled when it comes to some things, but finding his reason for feeling so unsubstantiated and a little silly whenever Shouto looks at him like that. Like he's worried he did something actually wrong, and all Allen wants is to reach out and tell him it's okay, I think it's actually a good thing.

So he smiles gently when he hears that answer and feels some of the tension bleed off him, and easily meets his eyes with a warm expression when he cups his face. And why he meets him halfway and opens his mouth to his as an equal participant in a very soft, intimately sweet sort of kiss they can continue to take their time with, and gives a small tug on the material of his shirt.

You really are a very gentle person at heart. ]

Edited 2023-03-04 18:42 (UTC)

[ Not gentle, cognizant. Aware, perhaps to his own detriment, how love can break someone just as easily as it can remake. He made a promise to himself, not aloud, but in the depths of his heart that he would never be the cause of that kind of pain again. The kind that destroyed someone from the inside out. He would rather be alone than experience that again, the breaking of someone else he loved, delivered by his own hand.

But this isn’t that. He’s made sure of it. When Allen left, Shouto did not go after him. Could not no matter how much he missed him. Instead, he threw himself into new projects. Spending more time with Kizu, the koi. The hunters. Anything to keep him from crushing someone else.

His hands slip into his hair, an anchor of sort. He holds him gently, pressing his chest closer to that hand. When he breaks the kiss to breathe, he lets his lips trail against jaw again. Down his neck. Following that placid order to the letter.

Do that again.

And so he does, gentle and unhurried. ]

[ Gentle-hearted.

Even if he never sees himself that way, Allen will.

Feeling his hands slip into his hair surprises Allen a little as he realizes he likes that, taking it as invitation as well to let his right hand wrap around his waist, pressing them together too and letting his head cant slightly to make it easier to kiss more deeply. His left hand splays lightly against his chest where it's trapped, fanning out in a gently mindful arc.

He also knows to expect it this time so he just exhales a shivery sort of breath when Shouto starts to move downward again, letting his head tip to the side to let him do so more easily, and just slips his left hand out to let it sift into the short hairs at the back of his neck. Stroking there encouragingly as he just holds onto him gently.

He knows what to expect, but somehow there are more butterflies in Allen's stomach this time because of that. It's a little distracting, that and Shouto's mouth on his neck, and his thoughts are a little disconnected as he tries to pull them together. ]

It feels good, you know? [ His voice is soft and he exhales a little shakily, and he leans his head against Shouto's as soon as he's low enough that he can, rubbing his cheek against his hair lovingly. ]

Kissing like this.

[ It's too easy to lose himself to impulse when those tender fingers stroke through his hair reassuringly. When he's held so gently. When Allen tips his head back to give him room to explore. He doesn't need an explanation for this, understanding its meaning on a fundamental level without words.

It feels good, you know?

The tone. The warmth. The way he's holding him. It's enough to make him take pause. His eyes glide up, slow and deliberate, settling on him. Seeing something there for the first time. ]

Good, how?

[ ?

At first he's afraid he's managed to say something wrong when he just meant to affirm for him it wasn't a bad thing at all, and meets Shouto's gaze a little uncertainly. He blinks at the question though, knocked a little offguard by it. Good how...?

He flushes lightly, and tries not to fidget. Very aware suddenly and feeling a little exposed. Why do you have to ask that!! ]

It just... is?

[ he's bad at this ]

[ There's no intuitive understanding here. Not with a pair of words that end more in question than answer. ]

I like kissing you. It feels like I'm closer to you.

[ He answers in turn without a hint of embarrassment. ]

[ Oh--

His expression softens at that and becomes a little stunned actually, affected, as Shouto managed to hit the reason why Allen enjoys these moments spot on. Enjoys kissing and being kissed, holding each other and even the smallest touch. What makes it actually very easy to melt away years of being extremely repressed and opposed to the idea of any kind of physical intimacy with another more than holding hands or an embrace, and the damage and anxiety he has surrounding it.

Feeling closer together, and able to say "I care for you" while feeling cared for.

He wraps his arms around him, hugging onto him in a sudden swell of affection and gratitude. Breathes out against his ear as he nuzzles into his hair. ]

I feel closer to you too.

I always like feeling closer to you.

Edited 2023-03-05 07:18 (UTC)

[ That certainty earns a smile that softens his features. He understands that answer. How could he not? He wraps his arms around him, returning the gentle caress with kiss to his jaw and cheek. ]

Me too.

[ Smiles are infectious as his own mouth slowly curves into one, something about the moment touching on a part of his heart that was craving it. And when first one and then the other kisses are pressed to his jaw and cheek they dislodge it as he laughs gently at the affectionate cascade. A so truly lighthearted bubble of one that escapes him, and he brings a hand up to brush some of the hair from Shouto's face fondly. Follows it up immediately by kissing his cheek in a surge of high spirits, and then with another along his jaw too. ]

Lean your head back a little.

[ Maybe because laughter was so rare in the Todoroki estate that Shouto finds himself captivated by it every time. Maybe it's the only way he knows Allen is happy. Or maybe, he just likes to hear him laugh. Either way, his smile brightens, stretched wide in a genial manner when his kisses are returned.

He leans back, looking at him with love and affection, waiting patiently in place. ]

[ Allen also laughs more with him than he can ever recall at any other point in his life. Not that he particularly didn't before, moments of sharing small laughter have always been treasured ones to him, but it was more that they were so rare that he appreciated them so tremendously. Being so happy so much now that it comes so easily to him, having a connection where he feels like laughing so much--

He smiles wider at Shouto's expression, not laughing again aloud but his pale eyes sparkling silently with it, and he detours for a moment to press a sweet, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth where that smile curves. He reaches for his hand to squeeze and lace their fingers together too.

I'll always love it when you smile like that.

Chin, jaw, just under the ear-- he trails soft and fairylike kisses as he goes, as lighthearted as his mood. An affectionate rain of them that slows when he follows not the line of his neck, but dips to kiss his throat. Lingering there to kiss him like he wants to convey something so sweet and earnest, all the affection that he feels, before beginning to trail a line of them down towards his collar. ]

Edited 2023-03-05 08:22 (UTC)

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